Disclaimer #1: The views and opinions expressed in this harticle are those of Miki, Minnie, Nikolai, Uncle Nikolaus, Mictor Szeles and friends, and do not necessarily reflect the official opinion of my current, former or future employers. Disclaimer #2: We Miki, Minnie, Nikolai, Uncle Nikolaus, Mictor Szeles and our Friends are writing our harticles in our free time, respecting everyone we mention or do not mention (except Nikolai Szeles, but he deserves it), so it ain't nobody else's business what we are writing about (except our readers, we do respect our readers the most).
- NoSEO: Miki, you have copy-pasted the thing below from one of your articles.
- Miki: Yes, you are right.
- NoSEO: Very wise, Miki. Very wise. Google loves duplicated content. The more times you post the same, the more time will you appear on the top of the first page.
- Miki: Wow. Cool. I did not know that. Anything else I can do to appear on the top of the first page?
- NoSEO: Sure. Please never set a canonical link in your duplicated posts.
- Miki: Why.
- Nikolai: Because canonical links are for p.ssies.
- NoSEO: If you set a canonical URL to the original content, then Google will only show the original article on the top and not the others.
- Miki: Oh, I see.
- Minnie: Guys! We have lost focus. That is not why we are here.
- Miki, Nikolai, NoSEO: Why are we here today?
The Completely Flawed (IT) Job Market
- McRuiter: We are here to change the completely flawed (IT) Job Market.
- Miki: Wow. I like your ambition, McRuiter!
- Minnie: What a great idea.
- Nikolai: You are an IDIOT. With capital letters: I-D-I-O-T.
Nikolai: Such cockiness.
Miki: What is the problem with the (IT) Job Market?
- McRuiter: The problem is the following: The companies think they are higher beings than software developers.
- Miki: What do you mean by that?
- McRuiter: They think they give you a favour by employing you.
- Nikolai: That is the truth, McRuiter. These (IT) companies are so kind they are willing to pay for the shit you do under the name of work.
- Miki: Well, I do not entirely agree with you, but please continue.
- McRuiter: So let's have a look at the interview process.
- Miki: Sure.
- McRuiter: First of all! The word interview is flawed too.
- Miki: Why?
- McRuiter: As an interview is a top-dog-underdog situation. The people are not equal; the interviewer leads the conversation by asking questions.
- Minnie: But the developers can only have questions.
- McRuiter: Yeah, after answering a dozen questions, they can ask a few. So the cause of this, interviews are like interrogations.
- Miki. What do you mean by that?
- McRuiter: You have to convince the (IT) Recruiter to be friendly and give the job to you.
- Miki: However, I was only on two interviews, I have not experienced this in my skin, but I heard many examples from fellow developers.
- Minnie: So what should we do?
- McRuiter: Instead of calling it an interrogation, we should call it a conversation.
- Minnie: Do you think the name change would be enough?
- McRuiter: Of course not, but that is just the start.
- Miki: Interesting, McRuiter. Keep going.
- McRuiter: Of course. Not. Please, let me explain what the current process looks like.
- Miki: Sure. McRuiter: Large companies conduct 10+ rounds of interviews to find their perfect match for a given position.
- Minnie: I heard that too.
- NonScienceish: Britishish Scentistishish has proven you cannot find your perfect match in less than ten interviews.
- Miki: I only applied for a job at two companies up till now, but at both places, there was only 1 round of interviews.
- McRuiter: Wait. What? Only one round?
- Miki: Yes, actually, at the first application, I had two rounds, but the second round was onéy about the CEO letting me know I was the chosen one.
- Minnie: Why do you think it is happening?
- McRuiter: There are so many factors to consider when you would like to hire someone.
- Miki: So, what is the root cause of the problem.
- McRuiter: The problem is that companies have no idea who are you? They do not know the value you can deliver to the company.
- Minnie: But there is the CV.
- McRuiter: If you write a more than one page long CV, your CV will land in the dustbin, as just imagine reading 10000 CVs. It is not possible.
- Miki: But CV is still a good thing, right?
- McRuiter: Nope.
- Miki: Why?
- McRuiter: The man who comes from afar says what he wants.
- ManFromAfair: Java is my second mother tongue, and I also eat agile for breakfast.
- Miki: So what should we do in this situation?
McRuiter: Developers have to share more information about themselves using personal stories to prove it, or even better, to answer my list of questions, which I have created only for one purpose:
To makes, sure developers can find a job in one single round of interview!
Miki, Minnie, Nikolai, ManFromAfair, NoSEO: Whaaaaat?
- McRuiter: Yep. Only one round with the team and the CEO.
- Miki: I understand the team, but what about the CEO?
- McRuiter: Fish stinks from its head (fejétől bűzlik a hal in Hungarian).
- Miki: What do you mean by that?
- McRuiter: A company is precisely as good as the CEO.
- Miki: Interesting thoughts. Can you share the list with us?
- McRuiter: Sure! I have created a list to make sure I can recommend good candidates to your partner company DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft.
- McMuck: I smell money here. Sign up, the bonus you beauty. You are the love of my love.
- Nikolai: So, you want to get money from recommending developers to DMG MORI Heitec Digital Kft.?
- McRuiter: Sure. It is a win-win-win situation. It is suitable for the developer, the company, and me. Win-win-win situations are scarce nowadays.
- So here is the list. You can simply copy-paste it and change the company name to your company.
McRuiter's Dream AKA The Perfectisch Matchish Partnershipish Opportunityish for Companieishish AKA The Great (IT) Job Market Refactor
0. How much money do you ask for in exchange for your expertise?
- Minnie: But they do not even know anything about you. How can you say a salary?
- McRuiter: It is simple. My professionalism is not dependent on what they are thinking about me.
- Minnie: So why is this the 0th?
- McRuiter: First of all, it is because I added it at the end, and I was not in the mood to fix that; secondly, but more importantly, like companies, we are living from money, and as there are no venture capitals who finance us, our primary income is our salary. I do not want to waste your and my time if we are way off regarding salary.
1. What do you know about DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft.?
- Minnie: What happens if I do not know anything about DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft.?
- McRuiter: Well, then we stop.
- Minnie: Really? That was all?
- Nikolai: I knew it was a scam. McRuiter: for a few minutes, I will tell you about the company. But I would be happy if you would research why you would like to work at a company that you know nothing about. Here are some links, where you can start: DMG-MORI, LinkedIn, Facebook, Adamos. We even have a short video about our office. I think it is pretty cool. You can even see where I was sitting at that time. Just pause at 1:03, and my chair is to the ball's right, right beside the window.
- Nikolai: Nobody cares where were you sitting, McRuiter.
- McRuiter: Nobody asked you, Nikolai. Click here to peek into our everydays at DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft.
- McRuiter: I am pretty sure it cost a lot of money, so please watch it again to make sure we will have a good ROI. Please click here! -Minnie: So what is the next on the list?
2. Please draw something for me!
- McRuiter: Hey, Mictor! Have you realised it is me who is listing the elements?
- Mictor: Sure, but this one is so important.
- McRuiter: Why?
- Mictor: To also have some fun.
- Nikolai: This is an interview! It should not be fun! What did you think? Did you imagine you going to your workplace every day and just chitchatting and having fun while working?
- McRuiter, Minnie, Mictor: This is a friendly talk, not an interview, and yes, we definitely would like to have fun during work.
- Mictor: You cannot interrupt an artist, so I continue. We all have a child inside, and the perfect time to awake it is as soon as possible.
- McRuiter: Fair enough. We will keep it. However, nobody asked for it (yet). I would like to state: this article only contains McRuiter, Minnie, Nikolai, Uncle Nikolaus and Mictor Szeles's personal opinions about recruiters, developers, technologies and everything else in the world. It is not related to DMG MORI HEITEC DIGITAL Kft at all. I did not ask for their permission to post it, as I know DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft. Respects personal opinions.
3. What is your first memorable moment related to your profession?
- Minnie: Why is this important?
- McRuiter: I want to let you know I am primarily interested in you as a human, not a professional.
4. What is your worst moment related to your profession?
- Nikolai: That is non of your business. I will never tell you as you will turn it against me.
McRuiter: Ummm, Nikolai. It is OK not answering this question, but rest assured, I won't tell this info to anyone except you approve it.
Nikolai: The next one is how many Hackerrank exercises you solved in how much time?
- McRuiter: No, it is not.
- Nikolai: Why?
- McRuiter: Because I do not care.
- Nikolai: McRuiter, you won't take me for a fool again. Measuring how many Hackerrank exercises a developer can solve with a stopwatch is the internationally accepted de facto standard for measuring a developer's talent.
- McRuiter: Sure, Nikolai. Sure.
- Nikolai: I am severe McRuiter. Just look around the world!!! This must be the best approach as so many companies do it?
- McRuiter: Well, you must be correct, but I would like to tell you, if I ever interview you, I will not ask you to solve multiple tasks in a minimal time.
- Nikolai: So what would you do then? McRuiter: Either I would not ask you to do anything like that (primarily if you already provided the link to your GitHub repo), or I would give you one task.
- Nikolai: One single task?
- McRuiter: Yeah. One single task is enough to measure whether you can understand and analyse a problem and see whether you can design, implement, and test a solution.
- Nikolai: And what if I got stuck?
- McRuiter: Then I would do what I would do if you would be my padawan.
- Nikolai: What would you do?
- McRuiter: I would help you find the answer for yourself by following your thinking but getting some hints from me. But luckily, we are not on an interview, so I would ask this:
5. Please show me your favourite code snippet and say a few words!
- Minnie: I don't have a favourite code snippet McRuiter. What should I show you?
- McRuiter: Me neither. Okay, what about showing your favourite app, open-source project, art, writing, or whatever you consider favourite.
- Minnie: That sounds great, McRuiter.
6. Are you smoking?
- Nikolai: You cannot ask that during an interview! You want to filter smokers, as they do not work as much as non-smoker developers.
- McRuiter: This is not an interview. This is a converse. I would like to know how much possibility we will have for some professional discussion. But I won't forward this info to Geri.
7. Do you have a blog?
- Minnie: I do have a blog, McRuiter.
- McRuiter: Where is it?
- Minnie: Here.Here!
- McRuiter: But that is mine.
- Minnie: Ours McRuiter. Ours. Why do you want to know that?
- McRuiter: Cause I am interested in you. I would like to know what subjects are you interested in and how is your style.
8. Have you contributed to open-source in any way?
- Minnie: McRuiter, I did not contribute. Is that a problem?
- McRuiter: Not. But then I will tell you about Selenidium Element Inspector Bounty Hunting Reward Program, which is the perfect opportunity to put your feet in the field of open-source. I guarantee that an accommodating, open-minded professional team will support you in this, and you can also have some ☕ with me.
- Minnie: That is lovely. Where can I contribute? Either on GitHub or on the Selenideium Element Inspector Twitter channel.
9. What is the top 3 thing you value the most in your life?
- Nikolai: Why the hell do you want to know that?
- McRuiter: As I am interested in you as a person.
10. What is the top 3 thing you cannot stand in other people?
- Nikolai: You, McRuiter, you.
- McRuiter: It is mutual, Nikolai.
- Minnie: Why do you want to know that?
- McRuiter: Because I want to make sure that you will not face them at the company.
11. Who is your favourite fictional character? Why?
- Minnie: My favourite character is Smurfette(Törpilla in Hungarian).
- McRuiter: Cool, I also love the six thinking smurfs.
- Minnie: What is that?
- McRuiter: You will find out soon. 😊
- Nikolai: It is strange, but one of my favourite characters is also a Smurf.
- McRuiter: Really? I never thought you had something called a favourite in your life.
- Nikolai: It is Grouchy Smurf(Dulifuli in Hungarian).
- McRuiter: And who is the other?
- Nikolai: Grumpy from the Snowwhite and The Seven Dwarves. Of course.
- Picture: What a coincidence. My favourite character is also from the Smurfs. It is Painter Smurf. He is such an artist. I love him almost as much as I do.
- McRuiter: Pierre Culliford (Peyo) is a genius!
12. Who is your favourite real-life idol? Why?
- Minnie: I cannot tell right now, but why this is interesting?
- McRuiter: I would like to widen my view and find people worthwhile to follow.
13. What are the top 3 things which motivate you to stay in a company?
- Minnie: Empathy, empathy and empathy.
- Nikolai: To respect my professional opinion and to leave me alone.
- McRuiter: That was only 2. What is your heard, Nikolai?
- Nikolai: No fruits, table soccer, breakfast, Xbox, PS and of course, big money.
- Mictor: To fill the office with my art so that I can feel myself at home. Unclue Nicholaus: Elf-free zone, warm weather, and Christmas presents.
- Minnie: Listen, McRuiter! I know you stole this from DMG MORI HEITEC Digital's HR expert Geri Molnár!
- McRuiter: You are right. We only talked for less than an hour, and I learnt so many things from him.
- Minnie: What else?
- McRuiter: Asking for your top 3 best and worst attributes is worth nothing.
- Minnie: I agree, but why?
- McRuiter: You can google the "right" answers in less than 5 minutes.
- Minnie: What else did you learn from him?
- McRuiter: Interviews can be enjoyable conversations.
- Minnie: I like that. Anything else?
- McRuiter: Not right now, but we only talked in a formalised way for less than an hour.
14. What are the top 3 things which motivate you to leave the company?
- Minnie: If I cannot bring in my dog and my flowers, that is the top one.
- Nikolai: I don't care. I will quit anyway.
- Uncle Nikolaus: No Christmas tree. No presents.
- Mictor: If I am not allowed to perk up the office with my beautiful art. That is a reason to break up.
15. Do you speak Hungarian?
- Minnie: Hungarian is a beautiful language, but why it is essential in an international company?
- McRuiter: We are the Hungarian department. Most of our people are Hungarians; we have many documents in Hungarian.
- Nikolai: If I do not speak Hungarian, you won't employ me?
- McRuiter: I can't tell for sure, but I know about a case where one of the reasons was the lack of Hungarian knowledge.
- Minnie: What was it?
- McRuiter: We have a recommendation system. First of all, the developer gets a signup bonus after the probation period. The person who recommended him will get a bonus depending on the seniority level of the new teammate. So I recommended my former student Reza who is a developer from Persia. Unfortunately, he has minimal Hungarian knowledge, so I got the feedback that he won't be employed for two reasons. We were not looking for a junior developer at that time because he could not speak Hungarian well enough.
- Minnie: I see. What do you recommend for those who do not speak Hungarian?
- McRuiter: To start learning Hungarian start with this language lesson.
16. Do you play Fortnite or Among Us? Anything else?
- Minnie: I love Among Us. It is pretty funny to play it with the family. We even play it in real life.
- Nikolai: Games are for kids.
- Uncle Nikolaus: Which game do you want for Christmas, kids?
- Picture: The best game is Microsoft Illustrator.
17. What are those three things we did not talk about but you consider important to share with me?
- Minnie: I love chocolate cakes.
- Nikolai: I love Minnie.
- McRuiter, Minnie: What?
- Nikolai: I mean, I hate you all.
- Mictor: I can express myself in the language of photography and writing recently.
18. Do you want to have a direct channel to the CEO?
- Minnie: Sure, but who is your CEO?
- McRuiter: He is Péter Várady.
- Minnie: I have never heard that name before.
- McRuiter: Me neither before I joined DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft. But I very quickly learned it after I joined DMG MORI HEITEC DIGITAL Kft.
- Minnie: Why.
- McRuiter: I got to know he was the former CEO of Evosoft Hungary. He built a more than 1000 people company from a few hundred.
- Minnie: Wow. That's amazing.
- McRuiter: But that is not all.
- Minnie: What else?
- McRuiter: He did not come alone. Many of the managers followed him. And then many of the inferiors of these managers also.
- Minnie: Wow. I believe that is whom people call a true leader.
- McRuiter: I think so. I think so. Nikolai: Many companies advertise themselves with these "Direct channel to the SEO" slogans, but it never works.
- McRuiter: This time, it works.
- Nikolai: How do you know that?
- McRuiter: You know Nikolai, I am a tester. So I tested it.
- Nikolai: What do you mean by that?
- McRuiter: We had a recent miscommunication issue, which escalated very quickly to a very high level. Even from this, you can see that you do not have to wait for weeks to get an answer to your email in this company. A decision was made that I couldn't accept, so I wrote an honest and respectful email to Péter Várady, the CEO of DMG MORI HEITEC DIGITAL Kft, as I mentioned earlier.
- Nikolia: I guess his assistant sent an answer to you, right?
- McRuiter: No. He answered with an honest and respectful email in a half day.
- Nikolai: I have to admit, even myself consider that respectful. I guess he did not fulfil your wish.
- McRuiter: The CEO of DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft. I considered my arguments, and he changed his mind.
- Nikolai: What?
- McRuiter: The leader of DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft. I considered my arguments, and he changed his mind.
- Nikolai: No way! That is too good to be true!
- Minnie: Such a leader.
- Uncle Nikolaus: I don't have a boss, but now I want one.
- Mictor: Can I feel the office with joy and colour by ornamenting the office walls with my art?
19. Do you want to give and get feedback frequently?
- Minnie: Oh, I love to express my feelings. I want to work in a company where they are emphatic.
- Nikolai: Feedback is for pus*ies.! And I don't have feelings anyway.
- Uncle Nicholaus: I cannot live without giving feedback. Those Elves are bastards. Last time one of my sons thought he was a human, and he went to New York to find his father.
- McRuiter: That is my favourite movie, Uncle Nicholaus.
- Mictor: Who needs feedback!? My art speaks for itself, and no one can judge my art.
- Minnie: So what is the situation at DMG MORI HEITEC DIGITAL Kft.
20. Why do you want to work at DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft.?
- Minnie: Cause they allow you to bring in your pets and plants.
- Nikolia: I will never work at DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft. Except I will. Then I will work at DMG MORI HEITEC Digital Kft.
- Uncle Nikolaus: Sorry guys, I do not have time for that. Maybe next year. Maybe.
- Mictor: I would like to work for them as a photographer. It would be so much fun to photograph their next all company teambuilding.
- Minnie: But McRuiter, that is for what motivational letters are. British scientistish proved that the only possible way to find out why you want to work with a company is to download a letter template, google for hours for the correct answer, and then send it instead of having a few sentence conversation. Just look around the world.
- McRuiter: I think it is time to ask another favour.
- Minnie: Go on, McRuiter!
Dear (IT) Recruiters! I would like to ask me a favour: I kindly ask you please never ask me to write a motivational letter, not because it is bullshit, but because before you answer these questions listed here, I definitely won't join your team. I will never write a motivational letter, but I can happily send the link to this article, but you have already checked it anyway before contacting me, so it doesn't make much sense.
- Minnie: That's all, McRuiter? I answered all of your questions, so I am in?
- McRuiter: Slow down, Minnie. Slow done. You haven't even applied for the job.
- Minnie: Then why do I have to answer your questions?
- McRuiter: First of all, you did not have to answer my questions. You can always choose the more accessible, faster, less fun way. You had to answer the questions for two reasons—one for you and me.
- Minnie: What is for me?
- McRuiter: If you answered the questions, then by now, it became clear for you whether DMG MORI HEITEC DIGITAL Kft. might be the perfect match for you or not.
- Minnie: Fair enough. What is for you?
- McRuiter: Based on the answers and the potential upcoming conversation, I can write my recommendation.
- Nikolai: Yeah, and you will tell Geri that I am a smoker, and I will be rejected.
- McRuiter: I will never forward that information. In addition to that, whenever I have written my recommendation, I will show it to you, and we will remove the parts you don't want to be included.
Miki: So how can developers send you their answers?
Minnie: So what will happen after you send my CV and your recommendation to Geri?
- McRuiter: We will talk about that later.
- Minnie: Do you think McRuiter can refactor the (IT) Job Market independently?
- McRuiter: Nope, but I am in touch with many (IT) Recruiters, so I will send this document to more than 30 (IT) recruiters.
- Minnie: Wow. That is a great start, I would say. Anything else?
- McRuiter: I have created a template for the conversation. Just click here and fill it!
BECOME AN AGILEISH SUPER LEARNER!
Learn how to memorise anything in the world with me. In this series, I teach you everything I know about learning and memorisation, including memory palaces, marker images, number memorisation techniques, etc.
You can already find the first video on my Youtube channel in which I show you that it is possible to memorise such boring things as positions of circles. Unfortunately, I messed up as the music is too loud at some parts. In case you know how to fix that, please contact me via LinkedIn!
The next session will be online to make it an interactive, fun session. You can ask any question, and I will try to answer them while I try to reach level 103 and more.
It will be on the 10th of April at 3 am (GMT+1/2). I have subscribed to the Pro membership, so 100 people can join this meeting. You are warmly welcome to join.
Read my story, in case you would like to understand how I think and act as a developer and tester in the real world. You can get some insights about my humour, and I am also happy to tell you that this is my article about which I am the proudest of now.
- Minnie: Pst! Miki! Are you still here?
- Miki: Sure. I am curious if there are other Marvel fans here.
- Minnie: I love those teaser trailers after the cast list.
- Miki: Yeah. Me too.
- Minnie: So what will be our teaser?
- Miki: I will post an article soon with the title "How I Became A Superlearner in 40 years AKA How I Became a Superlearner in 7 Days AKA How You Can Live as an Agile Learner From Today Till You Die".
- Minnie: Cool. I can't wait to read it.
- Nikolai: Such bullshit.
- British Scientistish: It was proven by my colleagues it is not possible to become a super learner and me. Memory palace, marker images, and speed reading are just a hoax.
- Miki: You are warmly welcomed Nikolai to join the meeting.
- Muck Morris: I won't join any meeting. Maybe the forum can join me.
- Mictor: Such Chuck Norris.
Did you find this article valuable?
Support Miki Szeles by becoming a sponsor. Any amount is appreciated!